Self-Referral means that you effectively define yourself using an inward focus. In other words, you identify with your inner-self that is constant and unchanging. As such, your self-esteem doesn’t fluctuate as a result of external circumstances. In fact, no matter what happens outside of you, the inside remains steady and constant.
When you live through self-referral nothing ever phases you. Setbacks, problems, criticism, rejection, mistakes, failure, loss, etc. None of these things phase you because you do not define yourself through external objects. As such, your fears are no longer enough to hold you back; you don’t have a need for approval from others; there is no compulsion to control external events, people or circumstances, and instead you can just be your authentic self. (see: Object Referral).